When you have worked with a client and grown to really get to know them and care for them, when they leave you or ghost you, it can be painful. In today’s post I am talking about some of the reasons your clients leave you and how to respond, or not respond to a client that ghosts you and when it is appropriate to do so.

I am part of a facebook community of hairstylists and one of the other women in the group started a thread about being sad after one of her clients unfollowed her on social media and didn’t respond to two different messages she sent her.

This immediately struck a cord with me because I used to feel the exact same way when this would happen to me. I would try to think back to our last visit and pin point what I did or said to someone that made them stop coming to me. It honestly doesn’t matter how talented or long you have been in the beauty industry when this happens to you (and it has happened to everyone) it hurts.

The past few years, I reached a point in my career where I stopped getting down on myself for clients deciding not to come to me anymore. I stopped getting emotional about it and had built up my confidence. It wasn’t without a lot of disappointments that I reached this place of truly believing whatever their reason it was happening FOR me not to me or because of me but getting here has been worth the work.

Let me break a few thoughts down for you on this one.

There are a few reasons that are common when it comes to a client disappearing or ghosting you out of the blue. Sometimes, it is you. I’m just being honest. Nobody is perfect and, like I will touch on later in this post, not everyone is your perfect match. Most of the time though, there is something else going on that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with you or your service.

Let’s break down 3 reasons that COULD be why you have been left by your salon clients.

Convenience:

Most of the time, if a client stops coming to you it is because of convenience. Clients are simply people who just like you also have a lot going on in their lives and sometimes a slight in convenience can make a client’s mind wander. Maybe there is someone else closer to me and more conveniently located that would save me time and basically be the same, right! This is particularly common among male clients.

In my case, I work in the Financial District near downtown San Francisco. A majority of my clients come to me because it is conveniently near where they work. Yes, some started off coming to me because it was near their work and now they come to me because of the quality of haircare and the experience I give them while they are here BUT if someone moves out of the city or their job moves them to the other side of the city, it is a BIG commitment to get into the financial district. There aren’t many parking garages, they are usually full and very expensive.

Not everyone see’s the need to be loyal to their hairstylist and that is perfectly ok! Most do, but this is THE most common reason a client disappears.

Money:

A change in personal budget can also be a reason that a client has chosen not to come back to you. This is a very personal problem that a lot of people have struggle with that could lead to them not returning to visit you in your salon. This is also a very common reason why you could be ghosted in particular.

In the last example, it doesn’t hurt to tell you that they have relocated. It may be sad and some people aren’t good at goodbye’s but I think we all read the above and thought, its happened to me and I get it!

However, if you had a sudden issue arise in your finances the last thing you are going to want to do is talk about it with the person you are dropping services with. OK, maybe some people would be comfortable with this convo but honestly, the majority wouldn’t be!

Personal Reasons:

The other reason that I feel like happens more often then we may ever consider is, sometimes we trigger something in someone. This example may make you say but Rachel, this is me then and you said these 3 examples weren’t going to be about me and let me tell you wonderful hairstylist that is here to learn something and grow their business… If you have triggered something in someone…IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU!

Let’s take a step back because the word “trigger” is one I was not familiar with until recently and even though it is being thrown around a lot in the personal development world, I think an overview won’t hurt.

A trigger is by definition: a small device that releases a spring or catch and so sets off a mechanism, especially in order to fire a gun: “he pulled the trigger of the shotgun”

What we are talking about though is the emotional triggers. So in this case, we would be talking more like, “her confidence triggered my self conscious feelings so being around her was difficult for me”.

Another example would be, “I discovered something about myself through our conversations and I am having a hard time facing them now because I’m not ready to confront that again.”

Or, “I’ve recently had a terrible life change that I am not able to talk about, therefore, I stopped getting my hair done because I know my stylist will ask and I know I will have a breakdown”.

We may not consider these types of examples when someone ghosts us as a client and doesn’t come back but they are very real scenarios that you couldn’t possibly figure out on your own.

I can practically hear you now, “none of these examples were the case for me”. There are many other possibly reasons that a client ghosts their hairdresser and this is the part where, and I know we just got really deep but…I kind of need to become a hardass on you before we can move onto the next topic!

I’m going to start gentle because again, that last example may have triggered you and in a way, I hope it did. I want you to realize, everyone has something else going on that they may not talk to you about and sometimes this leads to them to isolating themselves from the people close to them. This is actually a good thing because they consider you someone close to them!

Here are 3 reasons your client leaves you that are, actually, your fault!

Personalities:

Your personalities just didn’t align! You are an extrovert and your client is an introvert and you just didn’t speak the same love language. This is such a real thing!

When we have clients in our chair for the first time, we are essentially on a first date. We exchange names and some basic info about ourselves. We get the scoop on what the most current happenings in each other lives are and in some circumstances, you like them more then they liked you.

OK, maybe I’m not actually starting off that gentle! Lol.

I say this to stylists all the time but it is just SO TRUE. You win some and you lose some. You just can’t be a perfect fit for everyone and you shouldn’t be. If you were some how magically able to be everyones perfect stylist, you would definitely be doing some major dual personality tricks that would unavoidably lead to a breakdown of sorts. You just cannot be everything for everyone.

Just know, when one client walks out the door there will always be one that walks in to follow!

Experience:

Another common reason your client may have left you is because the experience you gave them when they first visited you in the salon, was lack luster!

Honestly, I don’t know a single hairstylist that hasn’t had to have this wake up call and the worst part is, we know it and are just trying to pretend like what we are doing is, good enough!

You know when you have canceled on a client, or been late, or not had the beverage they usually prefer or simply not delivered on the service the same way you used to. You know it.

A client will absolutely feel these and even if they never say a word or pretend like its fine, its not. They are keeping score and there are plenty of other hairdressers around for them to try out. It may feel cut throat but if you want to be booked like the best in the business, you ahem to perform like the best in the business!

If you are feeling like this is you right now, and you need a little help stepping up your client experience skills, my most popular blog post is How to give All-Star Customer Experience!

Results of Service:

Last but certainly not least, your customers will absolutely not return if you are not delivering the hair that they asked you for!

Again this may feel like a no brainer and why would someone even consider “Why did my client ghost me?” if they have done this but, it happens!

Your clients are coming to you because you are their hair expert. They have a slot for you on their big list of expenses because they know the value in having an expert in this field. No matter how long a client has been coming to you or how close you think you are to them, if you stop delivering the hair that they are used to getting, or if you don’t follow through in the outcome you promised them, they more then likely, won’t be back!

Sometimes, this is a case of I don’t know how to do that though. If this is you babe, GET INTO A CLASS! If you don’t have access to education or someone to at least ask for advice from, go type the service into youtube. I know youtube education is looked down upon but there is a TON of great info on there.

Yes, there is also a ton of crap BUT guess what? It’s free education so take some time and watch more then a couple different videos until you have gathered enough info on the topic and can start to practice. When you are ready to practice, grab your old pal Dolly and get to gettin! We used to only be able to get quality doll heads from whole sale retailers but these days, good ole amazon has them available and on our door within 2 days flat. Here is the one I have bought over and over again, Doll Head!

I know it can be hard to look in the mirror and say that you did something to chase a client away BUT I promise it is only to teach you a lesson!

This leads me to…

WHAT NOT TO DO AFTER A CLIENT DISAPPEARS!

DO NOT try and call out your client for not coming in for a while. The person I mentioned above that was sad about her client mentioned that the client unfollowed them on social media and then they texted them, twice with no response. She asked us in the facebook community, ‘What should I do now?”.

I do believe that a hairstylist client relationship is similar to a marriage. You truly do only know what is best in this case. Maybe that communication was appropriate but in MY OPINION, it was overkill.

Obviously, this would be different depending on if it were a new client, a semi regular, a within the first year regular or a ten year kind of regular.

I cannot go into what to do with every single one of these examples BUT what I say is, give it a little time and make sure you are 100% sure of what you are stating. Make sure their social media account was not just deleted all together, or maybe they have decided to create some boundaries and that included not following you on social media anymore.

If you reach out to a client and do not hear back the first time, I do not think a second personal message is necessary. When I say a personal message I mean like, a one on one direct message or a text message. I do not think keeping them in your orbit is off limits and I will get to that soon.

At the end of this day, you really just want to remember that you are running a business and the last thing you want to do to a client that is being distant out of the blue is become overly emotional and desperate sounding.

I have a client that was seeing someone in her hometown for years but moved across the state and just couldn’t resist needing someone local to her any longer and decided that for consistency purposes she would leave her stylist all together and see someone new. Thankfully for me that stylist was me BUT her original stylist reached out to her and acted extremely upset that she decided to do this. Not only did she find it so unperfectional that she told many of her friends that were seeing her but she told me she would now NEVER go back to her again even if she ever moved back.

Acting on raw emotion never works out well in the end.

I know it feels like you have this incredible bond and there is NO WAY this person could possibly imagine going to anybody else but at the end of the day, thats hair. Sometimes, it’s as simple as curious minds. Someone just wants to know what is so great about the person to their left because they heard good things.

What TO DO after a client disappears!

In the example above I talked about a person who lost their long time client after they acted emotionally when they needed to leave them due to relocating. Had the stylist not just been understanding and respectful of the clients decision, she could have earned the possibility of that client returning to her one day. As this persons now 5 year long hairstylist, I can tell you she has plans to return to her hometown one day to start her own family. I can hope she would continue to come and see me but being realistic, she probably won’t fly across the state for the sole purpose of touching up her roots!

The best way to react to a person deciding to leave you is to add them into a folder of missing clients in your email marketing software and send out a yearly or semi annual email. I personally have a yearly email that goes out in November that has a little deal for them saying, I’ve noticed you’ve been away. I do a generic email not a personal one because I don’t want the client to feel called out. They will already have to face us when they come in, you want to make this as easy and go with the flow as possible.

I choose a yearly email because I feel like quite a few of my girls doing balayage go that long between appointments so if they start getting these 6 month emails, they will eventually learn to wait for them. I don’t want to encourage this behavior and the annual one right before the holidays seems to be the sweet spot for me.

This absolutely could be different for you. As an entrepreneur it is up to you to figure this out. I recommend trying both and a couple of times and eventually you will see your answer loud and clear. We call this A and B testing!

The other way you need to respond is to have the confidence that the person has made a decision for their hair that is right for them and if your services really are as great as you think they are, with time they may come back completely on their own.

I have another client that came to me after a referral from her boyfriend, and she came to me for a few years very consistently. One day, I noticed I hadn’t seen her in a while and I became a little bummed because she was a pleasure to have in the salon. I did linger a little bit on the possible reason why this may have happened but didn’t find it appropriate at this time to reach out.

After about a year, she appeared back on my books for a consultation. I had to chuckle a little bit because I could only imagine what scenario would appear in front of me when we met again after a decade of being in the industry and feeling first hand every single one of the examples I spoke about today.

Turns out, she had found a salon near her new apartment and decided to give them a try. She really liked the idea of being able to have a salon close to home and despite multiple attempts to enjoy her experience at this new salon she decided it just wasn’t the same as when she would come to see me. She wanted to have the consultation because she wanted to explain and hoped I would understand. I told her of course I understand and I was so happy to see her again.

I have the confidence that my salon and the experience I give to every single one of my clients will continue to attract the kind of clients that are right for me AND that there are plenty of clients that are my perfect soulmate clients for me to build an amazingly profitable business and live the life I truly want. I know because I am currently living it and can say, with just as much confidence that I know you can too!

If you want to learn more about how I built my clientele of soulmate clients, check out my Attracting your Ideal Salon Clients 5 Day Workshop!

When a client decides to go to another hairstylist, it isn’t always the kiss of death. You can still get this client back if you act with class and be patient. If you truly gave your client the experience that THEY crave, then one day they will return. I have had clients resurface after 3 years by sending out a “We Miss You” style email one day.

She immediately booked right after I sent out the email and when she came in she said, “Honestly, I just forgot about you!” She went on to tell me that she had gone to a new stylist because after giving birth and not returning to work she found somewhere near her home that never quite gave her the experience she was wanting. When she got my email it reminded her of when she was working and would come in and have a relaxing hair appointment and THAT’s what she didn’t know she was looking for.

I wanted to tell you all of these examples because there are so many little queue’s and lessons in each of them. The most common thread is, in all of the examples in today’s post, a client chose to leave a salon, either yours or another, due to an experience they didn’t enjoy.I don’t think they focus enough on customer service in beauty school or salon training programs. If you aren’t sure if you are giving the ABSOLUTE BEST customer experience, definitely give the post I referenced before a read. How to an Give All-Star Customer Experience, is such a fantastic post filled with tips and actionable advice that can help you, today!

Email marketing is something I am very into and if you aren’t I highly recommend doing some research and start getting in touch with your customers via email at least once a month. I am putting together some more content on this topic for over the next few months. If this is something you have questions on, please leave them in the comments below!

Last but not least, I have created easy printable planner pages that are a really great way of integrating the best salon habits into your day easily. These pages also have a checklist including the steps you should be taking every time you post something, whether it be a blog post or a social media post and a place to list your clients of the day, marketing ideas, track your revenue in the salon as well as online and a brain dump section for the days, weeks and months ahead. These instant download printables that are available to you here in my Etsy shop. Check out my entire Etsy shop for tons of great business tools for hairstylists!

You truly have the power to create any business you want. You can be an employee and wait for someone to do these things for you (which won’t ever happen) OR you can be an entrepreneur and get to work on your work!

Thanks for reading!